Saturday, June 4, 2011 '
Day 110604: FiNaL_MUSInG
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My life ends here.
Good bye, world as I once knew it.
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>>Terminating search function...|
>>ごめんなさい
>>ありがとう
>>そして
>>さよう
ARCHIVE ENDED
Memory Files Preserved at... 4:10 PM
Friday, February 4, 2011 '
Day 110204: A_New_Beginning.
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You guys kept toying with my trust, feelings and sadness.
The choir, the school.
You guys said I'd never get anywhere.
Well, looks I've proved you wrong yet again.
Karma's a bitch; what goes around, comes around.
And you. The one who tossed my heart around like it was your plaything.
You may now shut the fuck up as I leave you behind forever. May I never meet you again.
It's now my turn to be happy.
And this time, I know this happiness will last.
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Memory Files Preserved at... 7:21 PM
Saturday, December 4, 2010 '
Day 101204: reiNcarnation_OfThetrustoNcE_known
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I think I finally know who would stand by me in the darkest of times.
I think I finally know who I can befriend.
I think I finally know who I can trust.
But this is the ten thousandth time I've believed such a thing.
Am I finally putting my belief in the right place?
It's time for you to tell me. Show me. Bring me into the bliss that I've always longed for.
Bring me out of this goddamn hell.
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Memory Files Preserved at... 9:33 PM
Sunday, November 21, 2010 '
Day 101121: eteRnal_c0rrupTioN/rE:brEakdWn----
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>>>Warning:_power_source_status=0
>>>>running all systems on backup energy
>>>>ETA to depletion: 10d_|
It's over.
My secondary school life is over.
And with it...
everythingIevercherished.
All my friends will vanish.
All my friends have vanished.
And God knows I'll be left alone in the abyss.
Just like when it all began.
Only this time...
Ihavenostrengthforthereiterationofhell.
くたばれ.
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Memory Files Preserved at... 1:55 AM
Wednesday, July 21, 2010 '
Day 100721: Unintended_DeViations
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>>FOunD: externalpowersupply_ID:31022ZrEQ5S
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...hey...
...did you know...
...you gave me a purpose for living again...?
...both of you...
...stayed by my side for these 4 painful months...
...and made me realise...
...that I'm no longer alone...
...it's...
...only the two of you...
...but...
...when the world walked out...when everyone left me for dead...
...you two walked in...
...you two...
...you've had the biggest impact on my life...
...
...ありがとう...
...ございます...
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>>>extra file found (ID: A404)
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>>Opening...
もう１回, もう１回
「私は今日も転がります。」と
少女は言う 少女は言う
言葉に意味を奏でながら！
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Memory Files Preserved at... 10:41 PM
Wednesday, March 3, 2010 '
Day 100302: ShutDOwN_immiNEnt-';;;Proce=/
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>>WARNING: PowerFailure at joints 129&
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>>>TerMinatIIING repo
Hah. Looks like the system's getting more corrupted everyday. It's to be expected; no one can maintain himself fully.
But, it's reality, and eventually, I'll come to accept it.
Life's been nothing but a hectic mess of what seems to be joy, sorrow, more sorrow, and complete isolation.
Nothing that's been said so far can deny this fact, nor change my views on reality as it appears to the mind and heart.
Don't you worry, this isn't a suicide note. But you guys are allowed to whine, sigh, and cry over how my death doesn't seem to be imminent. Like I care.
Yes, I'm breaking down. Possibly physically and mentally; I now have a slight case of sadism, of which I'm exceptionally proud of. After all, what can allow someone to visualise murder scenes and sequences more vividly than the crimson hue of blood? Nothing. And those screams are something I wish to hear from people one day. Makes no sense? Typical of humans.
Not that I'll go down a psychopathic route. I may already be on it, I don't know. But me? Shedding blood? No. Maybe watching ever so intently, but no.I realised that no such things as 'friends' exist in this pathetically incomplete world. Anyone who says they're your friend is obviously one of the most light-hearted liars you will ever see. Surrounded by a circle? Congratu-freaking-lations, you're now living in a community of liars. Think you aren't one? Look in the mirror, and reflect, you freaking hypocrite. We were born liars. That's why everything doesn't make sense - lying is the basic form of a human. If we do not lie, we're no longer human; we're divine beings.
Therefore, no one can be trusted. I can't trust even those who stand by my side, claiming they'll never betray me. I've let my guard down once before, and instead found myself crushed under the heels of 6 people. But, no problem. They just allowed me to upgrade the drawbridge into a complete metal wall. Spiked. At. Every. Spot.
Maybe, one day, I'll eventually become a hikikomori, the extreme case of distrust, social disconnection...
But, until that day, I still have to live with retards such as several classmates....
The ones that allowed me to lose my previous self. The self that I had worked so hard to achieve.
The self that will never again show up carrying my shell along with me.
You guys are idiots. Stop living in your small little world. My reclusive world's data has been disrupted by the introduction of your incomplete matrices. If you want your world to carry on, then stay out of my little sphere.>>>close_connection
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>>>>Warning: Search Protocol breach located at br:sec12. Proceed?
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Memory Files Preserved at... 10:16 PM
Monday, February 1, 2010 '
Day 100201: In_coNclusIOn...
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...yes?
I see now. Those I've ever needed. They were always by my side. Even now.
The three of you on Friday, during the Road Run. Inviting me to a little retreat. Even the one I still didn't trust.
The three of you on Saturday, not pissed with me even though my tone got out of hand. Yet, still laughing together. Perhaps antagonistic thoughts existed, but from my view...
Then you, on Sunday. Listening to me, then offering advice in His name. I've always never appreciated what a wonderful brother-in-Christ you are.
Thank you.
....no....you can't control me.
I'm a member too. What gives you the right to discriminate me, hm?
Hee...heheeheee....
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Memory Files Preserved at... 9:55 PM
