Wednesday, March 3, 2010 '

Day 100302: ShutDOwN_immiNEnt-';;;Proce=/

>>load_file "100302.mfv"
>>>Processing...

>>WARNING: PowerFailure at joints 129&
>>>cancel
>>>TerMinatIIING repo

Hah. Looks like the system's getting more corrupted everyday. It's to be expected; no one can maintain himself fully.

But, it's reality, and eventually, I'll come to accept it.

Life's been nothing but a hectic mess of what seems to be joy, sorrow, more sorrow, and complete isolation.

Nothing that's been said so far can deny this fact, nor change my views on reality as it appears to the mind and heart.

Don't you worry, this isn't a suicide note. But you guys are allowed to whine, sigh, and cry over how my death doesn't seem to be imminent. Like I care.

Yes, I'm breaking down. Possibly physically and mentally; I now have a slight case of sadism, of which I'm exceptionally proud of. After all, what can allow someone to visualise murder scenes and sequences more vividly than the crimson hue of blood? Nothing. And those screams are something I wish to hear from people one day. Makes no sense? Typical of humans.

Not that I'll go down a psychopathic route. I may already be on it, I don't know. But me? Shedding blood? No. Maybe watching ever so intently, but no.

I realised that no such things as 'friends' exist in this pathetically incomplete world. Anyone who says they're your friend is obviously one of the most light-hearted liars you will ever see. Surrounded by a circle? Congratu-freaking-lations, you're now living in a community of liars. Think you aren't one? Look in the mirror, and reflect, you freaking hypocrite. We were born liars. That's why everything doesn't make sense - lying is the basic form of a human. If we do not lie, we're no longer human; we're divine beings.

Therefore, no one can be trusted. I can't trust even those who stand by my side, claiming they'll never betray me. I've let my guard down once before, and instead found myself crushed under the heels of 6 people. But, no problem. They just allowed me to upgrade the drawbridge into a complete metal wall. Spiked. At. Every. Spot.

Maybe, one day, I'll eventually become a hikikomori, the extreme case of distrust, social disconnection...

But, until that day, I still have to live with retards such as several classmates....

The ones that allowed me to lose my previous self. The self that I had worked so hard to achieve.

The self that will never again show up carrying my shell along with me.


You guys are idiots. Stop living in your small little world. My reclusive world's data has been disrupted by the introduction of your incomplete matrices. If you want your world to carry on, then stay out of my little sphere.



>>>close_connection
>Continue_searCH?
>>Y/N
>>>Y_|
>>>>Warning: Search Protocol breach located at br:sec12. Proceed?
>>>>Y_|
>>>Processing...

Memory Files Preserved at... 10:16 PM