Recordings of a trapped soul.

Saturday, September 26, 2009 '

Day 0926: Heart's_Sorrow;Help_Follows

Accessing File: Heart's_Sorrow;Help_Follows.mfv...

I need to get myself moving again, by myself or not.

With or without the friends that have abandoned me again and again...

I'll get outta this one myself.

It's my fight.

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Accessing File: Heart's_Sorrow;Help_Follows.emf...

You'll cry, you're gonna cry. You always cry; see, you're crying.

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Monday, September 14, 2009 '

Day 0914: Year_of_the_(15s_on_14s).

Accessing File: Year_of_the_(15s_on_14s)..mvf...

What, is the whole net screwed up now? Facebook, Blogger, who knows what else... I've resorted to using Chrome to avoid the hell.

My house is in chaos now. Repacking, and refurnishing happening, I'll soon be forced to sleep in the hall. Oh joy.

Thank God that the holidays are over. Truth be told, staying at home doing nothing was getting boring. Don't ask me why.

There's nothing much for me to share.

As if there ever is.

I'm truly envious of you,...

And your friends.

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Thursday, September 10, 2009 '

Day 0909: Self_Question,_Self_Progress;Disappear;;

Accessing File: Self_Question,_Self_Progress;Disappear;;.mfv

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong, we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

Using this song to motivate myself.

I just wonder if He really wants me to be his child. I look at myself, and then I look at what is preached. I am nowhere near that kind of standard He's set, nor do I feel myself making an effort to change.

...What a mess I always turn out to be. Must have been a sin for me to even exist, huh?

Shut up and move along...

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Accessing File: Feel_The_Ones_Who_Are;Disappear;;.emf

Life. Any meaning? Besides sorrow?
After all, we all dissolve into nothing in the end.
Guidance is unnecessary. I'm wandering down the road that seems to keep me going.
And if I stop, I'll fall apart, right?
So, I'll just have to do this myself.

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Sunday, September 6, 2009 '

Day 0906: Departure_Of_Sorrow

Accessing File: Departure_Of_Sorrow.mfv

Wit's gone now. He's in Thailand right now. If you're reading this, you'd better take care of yourself, y'hear?

I don't really know what to do nowadays. I feel something drifting away, but I don't know what. It's a confusing feeling; if you don't know it, be glad you don't.

Thanks to you guys for the dinner-talktime. It was short, but it was a great time.

I still miss the past days.

Too bad, they'll never come again. For better or worse... I don't know.

Turn back the Pendulum...

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Wednesday, September 2, 2009 '

Day 0902: 2_Days_/_Party_For_The_Gone

Accessing File: 2_Days_/_Party_For_The_Gone.mfv

I believe I have three parties to thank for making this week more interesting than it would ever have been.

1st, SHPS, 6/9 '06.

It's a shame that we didn't get the chance to visit Ms Ng after all, but still, it was fruitful. We finally had one of the biggest turnouts for the 3 times that we had arranged to gather. 20+ people. Isn't that nice?

Old faces that are just new again. People have really changed. Wonder if I did make an impression. Can't change that much, can I?

Went with Mikey to SHPS, and went around. Waited until 1200 hours and saw Caleb, Ying Liang, Le Yuan, and one more guy at the soccer court. SHSS is gonna merge with SHPS in a way....and both of them are changing.

Sat there, and met with Clarence. Eventually, Cheryl (who had been there from the start) joined in, then Melody, who left anyways, and the whole gang came along. We moved to TM to eat at Phin's....and initially wanted to watch a movie. Cancelled that idea, went to the Open Plaza for some shots, then walked all the damn way to our favourite hangout - the park.

Played Captain's Ball until we were all tired. Couldn't believe the thrill of it all.

Majority of the group left after we got a drink, and the remaining (DK, Ave, Den and I) moved to a playground and just sat there. It was a nice heart-to-heart "talk", which eventually became a dancing session for the three of them. I was the little cameraman. After that, Den left, and we waited for Bel to come along. She got lost 3 times.

So, after she finally came, we played Truth or Dare, I Ever/Never, and some throwing and catching. Then I had to get outta there before I came home too late.

In summary,

Avelene's now shorter than me. I'm so freaking grateful. Oh, and she's really changed from P6 in more ways than one.
Benedict has grown too freaking tall.
Clarabel looks almost the same. Except that she's grown thinner. She's gonna kill me for that.
DK is same as always; enthu, hyped up 24/7, and simply the best organizer.
Clarence, you're still short. Go find Priscilla, she'll make you feel better.
Caleb and Sean....what the hell happened to your freaking voices?
Kai Ho is still the wacky nutjob I used to know.
Clarice...nothing much to say bout her.
Cheryl, yes, my voice has changed, stop being surprised. Yes, you've grown taller too.
Kell, your personality's changed, I'll give you that.

Nothing else to say bout that.

And the next day, who else, but Wit's birthday?

It was a birthday-cum-farewell party for good ol' Wit.

At first, when I stopped at Chai Chee Sec, I was wondering where the hell his house was. Thank God that Darrel, Daryl, Wayne, Jordan, and Chuw all came right behind me, so I could tag with them. Comedy arose when we got to his house; couldn't get the lift working, almost got stuck in the stairways (almost every door is card-operated), and who knows what else.

His house is nice. Very nice. And 7 swimming pools. Damn.

So, after we arrived, about 10 minutes later, a group of at least 15 people came in. Oh crap, amirite?

Wit decided to move us all down. The MPH was opened for us, and we moved in. Had 2 hours of swimming activities, though part of it was interrupted by a dumbass of a security system. No further elaboration needed; moving on.

After swimming, went back in and owned almost everyone BUT Shi De in 'Stress'. How sad. I wasn't any good in it anyways.

Random Placement: Thank God it didn't rain for the whole day after 4.

After the cake and all that crap, of which Wit has all the details, Nicholas, Ben T, Yan Han('zat his name?) and I just sat outside. I must say, the moon was quite disturbing that night. Gibbous, and hidden behind the clouds. It gave an ominous feeling to it.

Joined the others in playing frisbee shortly after that. I think I must have ph4iled in interception alot. Alot.

Went home with Cheng, who dropped off at least 15 stops earlier than me. Thank God for the safe journey....it was almost 10, after all.

I guess there's nothing much else to say but thank you.

All of you.

Smile, huh?

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